BITTERNESS

BITTERNESS

Scripture: Hebrews 12:15

Topic: Bitterness

“Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;” 

Hebrews 12:15

“Bitterness” can be defined as “degenerated unforgiveness”. I define bitterness as a “long-standing degenerated unforgiveness”. The word “degenerate” is defined as “to pass into a worse state than one which is considered normal or desirable”. Thus, when a situation passes from one stage to a worse state, it can be described as degeneration. 

Unforgiveness which stays in your heart for a long period of time, degenerates into bitterness. The cardinal sign of bitterness is that it begins to poison other people. The Bible cautions that when bitterness is permitted, it will spill over and defile others.

"...lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;"

Hebrews 12:15

I know some people who are so filled with hatred for their wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, or other relatives. A good example of a bitter person is a woman who has been hurt by a man. The story line is often similar: 

The man approached you and told you, “I love you honey. You are the sweetest lady I’ve ever known, and I want to love you. When I saw you, my heart moved from the left to the right. I want you to know that if you were on the other side of the Mediterranean, I would swim across just to bring you some ice cream!” 

Perhaps he also said, “There is only one pebble I see whenever I walk on the beach and THAT IS YOU!” You believed it when he told you he had seen many ladies, but that you were different. What you

didn’t know was that he had other pebbles on the beach, and that he had told other ladies these same stories. 

You were a virgin and wanted to remain so until you got married, but he convinced you to give in to him, with the promise that he would marry you anyway. So he began sleeping with you. You did things you never dreamt of doing with your body. In fact, you also had to commit several abortions because you were not ready for babies. Then, one day, he lets out the bomb that he cannot marry you after all. 

So many suitors wanted to marry you at the prime of your youth, but you refused them because of this “sweet talker”. After you turned thirty-eight, most men shied away from you. Now, you bear this man a grudge. You begin to hate him. Soon, you begin to hate him with a passion. With time, you have come to hate all men.

You could not forgive that man, so you have lumped all men into this category. Your hurt has become a long-standing degenerated type of unforgiveness bitterness. Sometimes, such people begin to champion women’s causes out of bitterness. They may remain unmarried for the rest of their lives. It can even develop and degenerate further into lesbianism. Lesbians are often bitter women; bitter against men who perhaps hurt them sometime in their lives.

Men can also be bitter against women. I remember a London taxi driver told me of his experience. Because of this experience he had vowed never to marry. He once had a live-in girlfriend whom he looked after. He took her to school, paid her fees, fed her and gave her everything she wanted for years. If she wanted anything, all she needed to do was to ask. She was almost like a wife. Then at a point, he began to suspect her of infidelity. So one day, he told her that he was going on a business trip and would return after a week. 

To be certain that she would believe his story, he asked her to see him off. He went to the Kings Cross Station with her, got on a train and waved goodbye to her. However, at the next stop  he got down, took another train and returned into town. He did not go straight back home, but went to a drinking pub to while away the time till two a.m. Then he went home. When he climbed upstairs and entered the bedroom, here was his “girlfriend-wife”, in his bed with another man. Both of them were stark naked in his bed. So he threw her out of his flat, naked, and called the police.

After this experience he decided never to get married or to trust any woman. He could not forgive that girl, and he had now extended it to all other women. 

When such hurt degenerates into hatred, it is bitterness! Beware of becoming bitter after bad experiences! When a bitter person speaks, it affects, influences and poisons others.

Dear friend, as you read this, ask yourself: Am I bitter?

Excerpt from:

Forgiveness Made Easy

Bishop Dag Heward-Mills