BACKBITING

BACKBITING

Scripture: Psalm 15:1-3

Topic: Backbiting

“Lord, who shall abide in thy tabernacle? who shall dwell in thy holy hill? He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart. He that backbiteth not with his tongue, nor doeth evil to his neighbour, nor taketh up a reproach against his neighbour.” 

Psalm 15:1-3

“Backbiting” means to be “bitten in the back.” That is, to slander someone in his absence. Being bitten in the back is different from being bitten in the front. This is because of the surprise element and the absence of protection for one’s back parts. 

The Bible teaches us in Ephesians chapter 6 about the protective armour of God. However, you will notice that there is no armour for the back parts of the Christian. That is why backbiting is so painful.

Backbiting, one of the poisons of the tongue is very common in divided, strife-filled churches. Many people cannot develop trusting relationships because they are not sure about what is said about them behind their backs. Where there is no trust there is no relationship and no unity. I don’t want to have any friends I’m not

sure about. 

A true friend is someone who says the same positive things about you, whether you are present or absent. Wherever there is backbiting there is no trust, and strong relationships cannot be built. Once, someone asked me why a certain group of ministers did not seem to be united. Then, I didn’t really know why. But with time I came to discover it was the poison of backbiting that kept everyone apart.

I remember being at a meeting with some senior pastors. We had a cordial discussion and I thought to myself, “We are such good friends.” I mused, “There is such love and unity amongst this group of ministers.” A few days later, I met one of the ministers who was present at the meeting, in his home. He said to me, “How do you find Pastor X?” (Referring to another minister who was also at the meeting.) Then he continued to say some awful things about Pastor X. Meanwhile, a few days earlier we had been happily chatting together with him. 

I began to feel terrible. Initially, out of respect I didn’t say anything. But as the cynical and sarcastic comments flowed from this man, I interrupted and said, “Why are you saying what you are saying? How can you say this about Rev. X when we just had a meeting with him?” I went on, “With all due respect, I don’t think it is right to say this about someone who thinks you are his friend.”

"The north wind driveth away rain: so doth an angry countenance a backbiting tongue."

Proverbs 25:23

You see, people get to know the things you have said about them with time. Because very few things are secret. In the process of time everybody loses confidence in meetings and relationships. If I have something to say I will tell you to your face. I don’t believe in pretending to be your good friend, smiling at you, then turning around in your absence to stab you in the back. That is backbiting! A painful bite in the back!!!

Pastors need the operation of the gifts of the Spirit to identify backbiters. I remember some years ago there was a young lady who would minister beautifully before I preached. I trusted her as one of my loyal and dedicated church members. One day, as I slept, the Spirit of the Lord gave me a dream. In the dream, I was fighting with her. We were trading punches like common street fighters. Our arms were flailing in the air. Then I suddenly woke up and couldn’t believe what I had just dreamt about.

The Spirit of the Lord told me, “This seemingly loyal lady whom you think is one of your trusted people is a slanderous backbiter. She joins others to speak much evil against you. But when she sees you she is full of smiles and encouraging words.” Within the next few days, what I had seen in the dream came to light. The Lord had revealed this to me to protect me from the poison of this person’s tongue.

One minister friend recounted how the Lord gave him a revelation about his associate pastor. He said to me, “My associate sounds very humble and loyal. For many years this man has been by my side, apparently supporting and helping to build. I could hardly believe that the Lord was revealing something negative about this particular pastor.” He went on, “I had a dream. In this dream somebody attacked me in my house. I rose up to defend myself. This attacker had a dagger with which he was trying to stab me. As I struggled with my assailant, I reached out to grasp a black hood he had over his face. Up to this point I didn’t know who my assailant was. Finally I was able to lift the hood. Lo and behold, it was my associate. I shouted ‘Hey! Pastor X. Is it you? Are you trying to kill me?’ Then he woke up. 

From that point, further revelations came out concerning this associate. He had been secretly spreading dissension and dissatisfaction amongst the congregation and other leaders. This was affecting church growth, he told me. And it was this discovery that led to the eventual removal of this backbiting associate. My friend’s church was thus saved from decline.

You see, backbiting poisons relationships and churches with mistrust and suspicion. May the Spirit of God help you to bridle your tongue, repent from this evil of backbiting and distance yourself from backbiters.

Excerpt from:

Poisons

Bishop Dag Heward-Mills